Getting Sick

Sometimes I really feel like asking whether you truly understand me and know what am I thinking... I'm really tired and sick of explaining myself as it just feel so stupid to explain to a person who don't truly understand the meaning within my words... Just stop it ok, don't even bother to ask anymore, I need time to reflect on myself and air to breathe... I am getting annoy easily nowadays, just don't know why I've become like this... Maybe is due to the stuff which have been happening around me, search me... My brain is cracking from all this thinking I've been going through, mind can't think straight and everything, all of this just makes me feel so down and lousy...

‘Home sweet home’, what is that supposed to mean… Everyone has a home in their heart somewhere but sometimes I just lost my way to home… Home sweet home just can’t seem to register in my mind as I’ve started to get tired of getting home everyday… Instead of getting home I feel more like escaping from there at times, no one really truly understands me there and I really feel so damn tired, exhausted of explaining myself every now and then… If you still don’t understand just forget it and don’t even bother to ask… I really need some peace and quiet right now, desperately needing it… I’m lost my dear angel; please show me the path to home once again…

The quietness
The darkness
Emptiness in my heart
Foolishness I felt

Indulge myself
Drown myself
Into this mystery night
Which cave me deep

Breathlessly
Helplessly
Trap in this endless night
Aimlessly I felt

Angel of light
Angel of hope
Please be my guidance
Brings me direction....

My feelings



Feeling exhausted and sometimes stupid.... life, yes life... It amazes me everytime, showing me the nature in human kind, showing me how they will react and response when problem arise, showing me how pathetic human can be at times... People are changing every now and then, how am I going to learn to believe again... Almost everyone is putting on a perfect mask or an act that hide their true identity... I understand these are the measures we need to acquire in order to survive in this world of our's... All right don't really feel like going into details now, let's talk about something else... I've been thinking of him this few days, wondering how is he doing now and stuff... All thanks to my dear friends who trigger my mind and starts to think of him... I just admire him not really falling in love with him so don't get me wrong...

This few days some of my friends are having trouble with love, yes love... Love is an amazing thing and sometimes a disaster you wish you could escape from it... It really depends on how you interpret it and the experiences you gained from love... To me it can be either good or bad as nothing is perfect in this world... Love is selfish and blind, sometimes you will do things that you won't believe you would do... Do not be afraid or guilty of rejecting someone as long you are doing the right thing... Do not force yourself into a relationship when you are feeling uncomfortable and unsure... You will only hurt yourself in the end and even the one who loved you... Everything takes time, do not try to rush everything as it will only make things worst... Think it through and think it deep, the answer is just within you, yourself, your heart, search for it and soon you will get the answer to your question....

All right I think I will end my post with a poem that I've composed long ago, here goes....

My starry night
My lonely night
Thinking of you deeply
Thinking of you fondly

Wishing you were here
Wishing you were there
Holding me
Healing me

Give me the strength
Give me the warmth
You always have
You always will

Tell me again
Tell me truely
Will you be there
Once again.....