Half A World Away

2011-12-06T15:04:00.003+08:00

Humans

I really wonder how could some humans be so sensitive and brainless... Every action a stranger made or word that spoke unknowingly, can be phrased as harmful comments or action to someone... It is a total brainless act, how could anyone link everything a person does or say to oneself when you don't even know the speaker or the person who did the action at all...

Seriously, why is human being overly sensitive about everything... I don't own you anything and does not have to apologize to you (a pathetic person who doesn't has a brain at all)... I wonder how are you going to teach your kids to be a better person in the future with this kinda personality you are having now... I really pity you as I doubt you have experienced true love and care before or maybe you don't even understand what are they...

God bless everyone...

2010-04-27T00:33:00.003+08:00

The start of my new career...

Graduation ceremony is around the corner, registered for everything which are required for the ceremony and done... 3 years had passed by like the speed of lighting which I can barely react to it yet... And here I am, graduating from TP with a diploma in AFSN... Seriously time really flies in a blink of eyes... Everyone is going on to their different path in life and I am missing the every moments I have spent in TP... Being a student is totally different from being out there working as you have the luxury of almost everything...

Gotten a job at Gleneagles hospital, the position is called clinical technologist... It is a thing which I always wanted to do, able to work as a healthcare professional is my ambition so it is kinda good deal for me... Thanks Esther for introducing me this good deal... Commencing my first day of work on next mon, mixed emotions yup... I will do my best and do it well... God Bless me...

2010-03-03T14:47:00.003+08:00

Meeting up and Chatting away....

Met Melissa last night for dinner and did some catching up with her after SOOOO long... We have been talking about wanting to meet each other like half a year ago i think (after my SIP), that was SOOO long... NVM, finally we were able to meet each other last night... During our dinner session, I met siew ling it was such a coincidence to see her there and she has treated us free drinks hahaha, Thanks... Mel and I chatted tons and tons of stuff and she filled me in with the latest news about the department... Complicated as usual but it is still fun as usual, the girls there just can't stop cracking a joke almost every single day hahaha... Mel has been transferred to cytogenetics department to work with chromosomes and samples, lab coat days (I am missing it now)... No more pretty pretty hahaha...

I valued the advices and guidance you have given me... Thanks for helping me so much and I really appreciate it... Let's hope that my application will pass... Meet up soon hehehe...

2010-02-20T20:22:00.003+08:00

Art Of Love

Ideas of writing keep on coming into my brain, I haven't been writing much lately as I am too busy and without an inspiration to write anything.... I think this is the way which I can really relax my mind from everything, am I odd??? Search me, take it or leave it....

Crashed and burned
Fell and Stumbled
Thinking of letting go
Thinking of giving up
Where can I turn to
Where is the next stop
Standing at the cross road
Which gives no sign
Faith is gone
Hope is crashed
There you are
Giving me a hand
In the nick of time
Whispering words of wisdom
Giving me the strength to move on
The art of love
I am still learning
Trying not to mess up
Ain't no giving up
The past holds me no more
I will be free....

2010-02-19T09:08:00.006+08:00

Torn between what reason says

I am not feeling well, just literally not feeling too well after knowing everything... My mind is in a mess, the things i have predicted and hoped so hard for it being just a mere illusion i am having is actually happening... I'm in a total speechless mode now, I am sorry to say that... I have been repeating myself for the countless times, in hoping you will get my words and retreat from this nasty situation you are in... However, it just doesn't seem to work at all as you chose to go your way and pretend problems never exist from the very start... Its kinda hurt to hear you saying things that you shouldn't be saying about yourself and things you have done... I know it was very hard to make a decision when you are being driven by feelings and devils in your brain, its been tough for you and I understand...

You have assured me with your words countless times saying you will heed my words but nothing seem to be done yet... Again, you have said the same thing and I am having my doubts on that... Will you do the things you SHOULD be doing now or will you go back to the old tracks, walking aimlessly and pretend nothing ever happened at all??? PLEASE do what is BEST for you at least ONCE, don't drown yourself into this endless sorrow... I will give you my respect on any decision you have made but you should also know that I will not give you my support on any wrong decision you have made (I will respect that)... Think wisely PLS, DRILL your brain and Think deep... Don't be feelings driven again...

(P.S. So here I stand fighting what I feel for you, Torn between what reason says and how I really feel) Is this how you feel??

2010-01-20T21:30:00.004+08:00

Rainy day.....

Last night was so peaceful and quiet... I can hear wind rushing through the gap of the windows, rain drops falling, darken sky... I love rainy days especially rainy night, it makes me feel so peaceful and relax which i don't know why... My mind and soul are at peace, suddenly my mind just went empty and stop thinking about things... Things which i should have forgotten long time ago, things i should not be thinking until now and so on... A feeling i never felt before...

Darken sky, rainy night
Gushing wind, falling rain
Cease the thinking, cease the sight
Empty mind, empty words
Embrace the wind and night
Feel the peace and silence
Heed the calling from up above
Hear the words of silent night

2009-12-30T21:23:00.004+08:00

The thing about LOVE...

After such a long time of resting and recollecting my thoughts, I have finally composed a brand new poem... Don't be misunderstand, it has nothing to do with me... This is how it goes...

Entering a place I shouldn't have
Taking something I shouldn't own
Angel & demon are in the way
Saying things that I never knew
Blinded by the love & care you gave
Drowning me deep like no others could
Knowing the consequences of this forbidden love
Fear & hesitation holds me so
Yet I moved forward with no regrets
Waiting for miracle which never comes
Am I naive or brave
Advises & guidance were given
Yet it guides me no where
Only endless thinking & hoping
Beautiful disaster, yes you are
Will I succumb or withdraw
Good Lord, you're there
Please lead the way, I answered........

2009-12-22T01:33:00.002+08:00

The Unwritten....

Sometimes things are best to left unspoken but sometimes not... Explaining oneself may be a tough job as you may not know what are the right kind of words to express the things you wanted to relate to others... But that doesn't mean you should give up on explaining, its never the way in life... Humans have great imagination ability, they can imagine a lot of unexpected stuff that may mean either good or bad of you... Why bother to give their imagination an opportunity to run wild when you have a chance to make things right???

Getting angry, frustrated or upset about people not understanding you will not get you anywhere, this will only gives you extra burden and trouble... Stand firm and strong when you have done nothing wrong, do not say things that your heart don't mean it this will just contradicts yourself further... Don't hide anything that you don't need to, be confident about yourself and let the past stays behind you... This will help you to become stronger... God bless...

2009-11-28T11:47:00.011+08:00

Fun at ORCARD hahahaha....

27/11/09
Last night was a fun and hilarious night, met tong at town for shopping and stuff (although some commotion happened before we met, it was all settled =) Shopped around Far east for colthes and perfume, suddenly gotten a call from YX saying she will be coming to join us thus waited her arrival for 15 mins yup... During the process of shopping, we have gotten one perfume each, Tong-Ralph Lauren Romance (her all times favourite perfume), YX-Davidoff Cool water, as for me I've gotten Burberry Brit Sheer we were all contented customers hahahaha... On top of that, we have gotten 3 samples perfume (Ralph Lauren Romance, Fcuk-her and i forgot wat did YX gotten haha oohs) FOC all thanks to the boss of that store, she was nice and very obervant as she remembered every words we have said like what types of perfume we currently using (what a surprising factor)...

After that, we walked all the way to ION for dinner at GINZA something (i've forgotten again)... We were cam whoring non-stop before and after our orders arrived, the whole process was damn funny... Joked around so much which nearly cause indigestion in me -_-''... Dinner done, next stop will be YAMI yoghurt it was like a everyday routine for us to get that after dinner but not for me last night as i can't swallow anything more into my stomach already... Joked, laughed and cam whoring all the way from orchard to somerset... Me and Tong ''fighted'' from orchard to somerset too and YX didn't even tried to stop us -_-''... My warist went all red due to those ''fighting'', all credit to Tong =P... It was such an exhausted night yet it was fun and enjoyable too hehehe, more will be coming after the term test hehehe... Study time is ON!!!

2009-10-06T13:01:00.003+08:00

I'm feeling it...

Its been a very long since I last composed any poem, not in the mood of writing any now as i'm busy with major project which really draining me out at times... School is going to reopen and i gonna say goodbye to my holidays, sick of this... About 6 more months or so, i'm gonna graduate from TP... After that, either I will enter the work force or or pursusing a higher degree or qualification... I don't fancy the idea of leaving school cause i'm not prepared to face the reality... Everyone has to grow up, its just a matter of time before we say goodbye to the school life... Sick and tired of thinking of that...

Been reading the past poems i've composed a long time ago and i found one which i really want to share with everyone... I'm totally feeling it...

From friends to lovers
From lovers to strangers
Our hearts is falling apart
My heart is tearing me apart
Every word you've said is a lie
Every touch you've make is burning
I've let you enter my life
I've let you exit my life
I must admit that we're through
But meeting you is such a beautiful disaster...

2009-09-17T00:59:00.002+08:00

Retail therapy is the BEST...

One month or so has passed since the day I ended my attachment at KKH... Although holidays are here, going to school everyday is still inevitable... I'm exhausted, I really need a REAL holiday which I can fully recharge myself and rest well... I don't think that is gotten happen cause MP is in the way... I have to finish as much as possible before the school reopens so that I can lessen the burden and focus more on my studies... Hopefully I can do a really good job and get good grades (pray to every god in the world... =P)...

Went shopping with friends to release stress and it was working as my stress has gone hahaha... Bought a new wallet and watch from FOSSIL and I'm loving it hehehe... Finally I got my leather watch after all the looking high and low for the best one and I'm content with what I've got... All right I think I will stop here for now, next week will be a busy week as my group need to try our best finish more things before we meet our KKH supervisor... Nitez and god bless people...

2009-07-30T12:02:00.010+08:00

Missing the days....

On the 24th of july, which was my last day of attachment in KKH, although I've been yelling and screaming to get out of there as soon as possible... Just don't know why, suddenly I felt that I will be missing the people and things there... It was an unknowing feeling, it was so sudden... I'm missing it now, every bits and pieces of it... Appreciate the things they have prepared for us on the last day, like lunch treat from my supervisor siew choo at bakerzin and perlini's sliver gift from the dieteties dept... Thank you guys so much...

Congrats to siew choo for giving birth to a healthy baby boy on the 24th of july hahahaah, it was such a conicidence... The baby boy name is Kenneth Sim, he is cute hahahaahaha... Thanks siew choo for the blessing you have given me after SIP, thank you... And shiling too, thanks for your blessing hahahaa... I think I will be returning to the dept soon as I've gotten the KKH project as my MP hahahah, will be seeing you guys real soon hehehehe...

(P.S.: Don't build up your frustration again ok, just let it out you will feel better this way... Don't ever stress yourself again and Don't let your imagination run wild again... Don't think too much again dear, it hurts to see you this way... Stay happy always dear....)

2009-06-17T10:15:00.005+08:00

Thinking through.....

Love is a thing that I never had, i mean in terms of boy girl relationship.... I had it before but it was all short and quite an unpleasant experience which gave me doubts about men.... After all this years, I have came up with a conclusion which is never rush into a relationship if you are unsure about it....

I'm feeling unsure right now as every bits and pieces of you are still in my mind.... Somehow I just think of you unknowingly, I just don't know why am I so slow in finding out that 'feeling'....
Should I be persistence? That is the question which I've been asking myself.... Or should I just leave everything to god and fate.... I really have no idea, i'm lost.... How should I react if i ever see you again, will there ever be a chance which I can see you again? Or Maybe I should just leave all the memories behind and move on.... It just doubt me so....

2009-06-07T10:35:00.005+08:00

Enjoyment, Laughter and Fun....

Celebrated Becky's birthday on the 5th of may (actual date is on the 6th), it was full of laughter and fun hahaha as I have planned some surprises which had shocked her like hell hahaha... Went to food republic to have our dinner before heading down to indochine the sanctuary (my favourite bar hehe)... Rin Rin ordered some kind of satay been hoon which tasted like laksa hahaha and I don't think it was nice =x... After a satisfactory dinner, is the time for our main programme of the day which was the surprise we had for her at INDOCHINE hahaha... Before getting started with the 'programme of the night', Tong and I went off secretly to get the birthday cake and I also managed to talk to the manager at indochine about the plan for the night hehehee (becky doesn't know what's in store for her hahaha....).... The manager was really nice and she was willing to cooporate with me (thank you so much)....

Once the band was up, they started to sing some songs before reading our request... It was so funny when he read 'Rebecca' and our dear birthday girl can still look around for that someone who has the same name as her (not knowing that someone was actually herself).... -_-'' They managed to drag her on stage and made her to sing a birthday song for herself before singing her a birthday song hahaha... The process was so damn hilarious, oh my god I can't stop laughing hahaha... It was a memorable birthday celebration for her, I don't think she can forget about it after being dragged on stage and all that stuff hahaha....(not forgetting that it was all happened during the 'peak' hour hahahaah).....

2009-06-01T16:40:00.004+08:00

Back to my usual stuff...

Its been a long time since the last poem I've posted in this blog of mine... Don't really have the time to sit down and write due to work and projects which have occupied the entire of my life... I'm feeling exhausted as the days went by, sick of working... Gotten the idea of composing this poem from a friend of mine and here goes....

Wondeing, thinking
I always do

Are you the one
doubt me so

Feelings for you
I always have

Words of temptation
Drown me so

Key to your heart
I never had

Road to love
Blinds me so

Held by hesitation
Consumed by confusion

Should I play
This game of love....?

2009-05-07T18:22:00.004+08:00

Stories of my life....

Met tong for lunch yesterday, did some catching up and talked about things we've encountered during SIP... SIP is something that I love and hate at the same time, the experience is all right however the people is passable yup... Only a few of them is somehow kind to us, those people are still under observation period or I should say an observation period which is conducted by myself... I just don't think I can trust them that easily, better be safe than sorry... Now the school is having some temperature exercise due to the swine flu which happened lately... Its kinda chaotic cause everyone needs to take their temperature regularly before they can enter places like library etc...

After the 'reunion' lunch with tong, I went to my best pal house for a little chat before we drop by the nearest supermarket with the other guys for some food shopping... As we need food for the BBQ thingy later on of the day, hitched a ride from one of my best pal friend to pasir ris chalet OMG that chalet is huge with four rooms... Had lotsa fun there, cracked jokes and played manjong... Didn't join them for clubbing that night as I was exhausted, took a bus back to my home sweet home... It was a great night yup... Blessed night everyone...

2009-04-27T16:01:00.002+08:00

Seeking, looking, finding.......

More weeks and days have passed from the very first day I started working in KK, it is really a slacking and relaxing working environment here... Spent most of the hours starring at the computer doing translation, food analysis and even watching drama... Actually there is really nothing much to do here, maybe because i'm not being paid that is why the job here is so damn relaxing...

I'm feeling tired all of a sudden, mentally draining... I really don't know what i want in life, a stable job? Stable income? Mr right? whatever, i just felt tired of thinking... I'm seeking for that someone, that special one who will lend me a listening ear to all my problems... Is it really you or it is just a wishful dream of mine... Will you appear in my life once again after all these years?

2009-04-17T20:53:00.004+08:00

Sick, ill, seriously sickening.....

Two weeks has passed, 14 more weeks to go before I can say goodbye to my attachment... Working is exhausting as compare to studying... If I've a choice I will rather go back to school as I've more freedom there... Wednesday is not a day for me, experienced something nasty as I met the devil at my workplace, the name hmmm I don't feel like revealing... She is such a pain in the ass and a lady who suffers from menopause... As she got so damn pissed off because the photocopy machine was not reset to the original mode thus causing some problems when she was printing some documents...

Oh please, it was such a minor problem do you have to throw your temper at my partner... PLS just GROW up man... This idiot made me feels so gulity as my partner was doing me a flavor which in the end caused her a great deal... I don't give a damn on whether you are in a bad mood or what, it is wrong to throw your temper at an inoccent party... This is just her second week in the department, you don't have to make things hard for her...

I'm on a two days MC as my throat is not recovering which also spares me from seeing that menopause idiot... Just need some time to rest and get back my energy... God bless and nitez....

2009-04-10T00:48:00.002+08:00

SIP, it was a eye opening experience....

First start, I'm really glad that I am being posted to KK for my SIP... It was great to serve my attachment there... The people there are nice, friendly and funny... Everyday is a new experience for me as I get to do inpatients, outpatients and feeding clinic with the dietetians there... I gained a lot of knowledge through out this 4 days, knowing different kind of complications the babies, kids and pregnant mothers will have and the solution to all of these...

Observed how the dietetians plan meals for the patients ranging from infant to adult, the amount, formulas, calculations just everything... It was cool to be a dietetian and I'm really keen to be one of them too... Knew nice people like shiling, vanitha, aini, christine, mui li and the others... Thanks vanitha for the fruitful trip you have brought me, I gained a lot from it... You are a good tutor, you helped me to know a whole lot more about being a dietetian... I'm really thankful to that...

I'm happy in where I am now, thanks to the people who have helped me to enjoy the every minutes when I was there... God bless them all and me... Nitez....

2009-04-01T21:23:00.003+08:00

Just my luck....

Went back to school for the second day, it should be a happy and joyful day... No one will expect stupid things to happen but it just happened... I really don't know what has happened to me, fell down and injured my legs for the third times in school OMG!!! It was just so so soooooooo.... All right I'm speechless.... Knees are swollen and screaming pain!!!

Beside injured legs, project grouping was another huge pain in the ass too.... Sorry to be so so ya I think you guys get what I mean... Don't feel like going into it, felt damn pissed off with the attitude he gave us.... Luckily, my group is not being affected and finally I can do project with my clique YEAH.....

Talked to my dear today, (p.s. really hope that you can put it all down and get over it, don't be wishy washy anymore ok... Be decisive and stand strong towards your decision, be firm...)

God bless to everyone and nitez....

2009-03-26T12:05:00.003+08:00

Hanging out and catching up....

Met Tong at her block yesterday, supposed to take a bus to bedok station... Guess what, her EZlink was out of balance, we had no choice but to alight from the bus... So dotz -_-'' hahaha... Went to the nearby stores to get something in order to exhange for coins for the bus fare... Finally we got to town, caught a movie called hotel for dogs... It was nice and heart warming, it is a must watch for all the dog lover you won't regret it... Took some neoprints too, which is a thing that I didn't done for a very long time, few years maybe OMG that is so long... It was a fun experience which everyone should does it once in a while hahaha...

Did a lot of catching up during this outing, chatting away and finding out what have we done for this past few weeks... Updates, updates and even more updates hahahaha... Gave advices at the same time too (p.s. hope you will think about it and consider well)... Met up with becky for dinner at soup spoon and chatted away too hahaha, there is just too much to update each other with such a short time.... After that she went off to meet her friend at newton, hmm just met us for a few hours yup all right i'm not complaining.... Gotten a call from sis saying she is coming to meet me out of a sudden, shocking... So i kiss goodbye to Tong and went to meet up with her... Food shopping again, bought cheese cake, bread and blah blah blah I wonder how am I going to finish it? It was a exhausting day i should say, walked around orchard area for the whole day and spent my hours like nobody business... Just don't feel like wasting any of the time which I can really enjoy before the whole attachment thingy starts...

I'm having mixed emotions now, really have no idea why am I feeling like this, just need sometime to get over it all... God bless...

2009-03-22T01:15:00.002+08:00

All about me, and I find it quite true....

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Go to this website and have a try....http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

2009-03-15T11:19:00.002+08:00

Boring and Waiting....

Weekdays and weekends seem no different to me in this month of march as i'm having a one month holidays... It is boring as there's nothing much to do during the holidays, AHHHHHHHHHH BORING!!! Been hanging out with friends on most of the days, spending cash like nobody business, output is more than input OMG!!

Went out with my buddy last evening, went to SIM open house to check out the courses available there and the course fee, it was a good experience I should say.... After that we went to town for dinner and shopping for clothes yay I love it hahaha.... Zara shopping again, I didn't bought anything cause I'm still thinking whether I should get that vest and shirt, OMG should I get it???

Received a call from dear xiao tong when I was half through the subway, it was shocking as she called me from China.... Glad to hear from her....
(p.s. Don't worry too much ok, just come back first.... Talk to me if you're having any problems, i'm 24hr available =P...) God bless....

2009-02-27T15:16:00.004+08:00

Free like a bird

Exams are finally over, holidays are coming my way yeah... This is what I love about being a student, HOLIDAYS and do not need to worry about anything else except the results (that is the scariest part of being a student haha...)

Went to class outing last evening, however the weather wasn't that nice at all... Been raining like cats and dogs for an hour or so, dark clouds filled the sky and our mood too... Luckily, god has shown us some mercy; the rain has stopped eventually haha... The BBQ session was filled with laugher as usual and lame jokes were popped out by ah Yun too hahaha (that is just so her hahaha).... The whole thingy was fun but there was just one set back which was; not everyone was present last evening and some stupid things happened again... However, I don't care because everyone had fun during the BBQ despite all the disappointment... The surprising thing was becky and I were the last to go off, shocking hahahaha... After clearing up, we went to chill out at the nearest pub... The ambience was not bad but I still prefer indo chine at wisma hahaha...

SIP is coming my way very soon, I'm feeling excited and nervous at the same time as I don't know what will I get.... Hope that I will get the one I wanted the most.... God bless me....

2009-02-15T11:28:00.004+08:00

Valentine

Valentine's day, hmm is a day I don't usually celebrate... However, this time I received lots of stuff from all my dear ones haha... Nice cupcakes from Ning, chocolates from Becky & Edwin, Blue rose from Rin Rin and a starry lolipop from Tong... Thank you guys for the gifts you have given me and making this day a special one for me, hahaha... Love you guys so much...

Hmm, suppose to meet him on V day but I rejected due to busyness, suppose to meet him alone on fri but I dragged my friends along with me... So sorry for neglecting you thus causing you to stone down there... My bad yup I know, my besties actually said I have ruined the whole thing but I don't really think so... Hmm maybe I did, search me... All right, I don't want to think too much forget it then... Time to focus on my studies, that is the very thing I need to do now... God bless everyone and me =)

2009-01-31T21:07:00.006+08:00

The Big '2'

Thanks you guys (Rebecca, Hui ning, Li yun, Yih rin, Edwin, Xiao tong & Shu wan) so much for the accompany and the perfect birthday gift you guys have bought for me... I'm very happy and enjoyed myself, really... Thanks xiao tong for treating me a yummy yam ice cream, love it hahaha... Finally the big '2' has came, I don't know what to expect from that... It is time for me to be more mature and be a better person...

Best friends, how do you define that I really don't know... To me everyone that I know are my friends and I'm glad that I've met them in my life... Who is the best and who is not, is it necessary to rank them, I'm confuse... I always contradict myself with the words I've said and the things I've done... What have been said can't be taken back, just hope that no one will take my words so seriously as I don't even know what am I talking about at that moment... My friends, correct me if I did anything wrong or said anything weird as I am lost at times...

Forgetting is a way to forgive.....

My lord please bless my family & friends

Stefanie signing off....

2009-01-20T14:56:00.006+08:00

Totally stupid

I'm so damn screw up today, I just don't know what is going on with me and my stupid brain... Nothing is working well today, totally nothing DAMN IT!!!! How could I commited such a stupid mistake its just so freaking stupid AHHH!!!! Which caused me to say kiss goodbye to my lab test mark... Everything just wasn't going well for me today, I'm so freaking pissed off ok... How could I, seriously just how could I commited this type of stupid mistake... Right now I just hope and pray that everything will goes well for me on this coming fri, no more stupid things should ever come out from me again, I should not screw up again... No way should I do that again if not I will be totally screw... DAMN!!!!!!!!

2009-01-14T19:01:00.004+08:00

Growing up and get older....

Time has passed, I'm growing older and will be stepping into the big '2'... Its something new to me which also means a new life a new begining of everything... With the big '2' coming near it is time for me to grow up and learn to be more mature in handling things, anything that comes in my way...

His face has appeared in my mind again, I've already forgotten how many times this has happened... I really don't know why am I feeling this way, been feeling something that I never felt before... When knowing that he is with another girl now, my heart just hurts unknowingly... Something is aching within me, I really don't know why I'm feeling that, there is no reason I should been feeling this way... I need to forget and let it go, all the feelings I once had for you should be history by now... Let it go, let it all go, just let it go... You are so near yet I'm feeling you're so far away emotionally... I'm over it...

Days go by

I've been here

Wishfully thinking

It was all a lie

Never knowing

I've been hurt badly

Where are you

Where is the hand

Which hold me close

I've lost it

I've been defeated

Time is the only remedy

Which will get me back up again...

2009-01-01T15:07:00.005+08:00

Thinking as usual.....

Its a new year, everyone is happy about it me too... Yet as the same time I felt angry and sad about it due to some matters... People can be so ignorent, it is so frustrating when they are acting this way... In a friendship, everyone should try to understand each other in order to prolong the friendship... If no one is there to try to understand any of that it will be a disaster... Its exactly like my case, I will named that person 'L'... The thing goes like this, let me ask how will you feel when you are asked out from your friend on a day but that person just happily forget the time and made you waited like an idiot... The answer is frustrated, yes I'm totally feeling that, and when I tried to tell her how I felt she actually thinks I'm picking on her in every matter... What a great friend I have, we've been friend for a year or so and this is the type of impression I've been giving her...

It is so damn disappointing when you think that person actually understands you turn out to be totally not... I'm always the one who is trying to understand her and giving in but what do I get in return? All that I got are misunderstanding, being blamed for things I didn't do and even more of that... What is this, is this how you treat your friend, I'm really thinking... Its just so f**king frustrating when you keep on thinking you are the innocent one or victim and I'm the bad guy... I'm really speechless when you actually said that when you received my message... If you don't start to think through what you've been doing and thinking, this friendship is just seem so useless and senseless to me...

God please lead the way and guide me through, I'm lost once again....

2008-12-15T12:00:00.006+08:00

Way back into love

Thanks to the song in Ning's blog which gave me the idea and inspiration of composing these words... The song is called 爱太痛 by 吴克群 the words are beautifully written and really cause me to think when i listened to the song... Love can be so heart breaking when you are really into it and gave your whole heart and soul yet you didnt get anything in return... All right I think I will just let my 'words' to do the rest of the talking...

Road to love

No one knows

There you are

Standing still

Assuring everything will be okay

Promising to hold me dear & near

I gave my heart

Yet nothing is return

My vision has blurred

You're so near

Somehow I can't reach the hand

You once promised to hold me close

Emotionally apart, yes we are

The words of fantasy

I shouldn't have listened

Leave me, Isolate me

Time is what I need

To find my way back once again.....

2008-11-27T01:49:00.002+08:00

Rainy night

It is a quiet night now, I'm falling in love with it... I felt my mind was at peace, worries gone nothing is better than this... Thanks to this wonderful night which gave me inspiration on my new poem...

Cold wind blows

Rain drops fall

Eyes were blind

Way was lost

Head spinning

Heart beating

Too many signs

Where to next

Words unspoken

Voices unclear

Where am I

Who shall know

Answer my prayer

My dear lord

Guide me through

The road of light

2008-11-26T00:04:00.002+08:00

Anger...

Rage of flame within me, I'm not letting it out I don't want to... I'm exhausted I need guidance, I'm feeling tired of things around me again yes again... Getting annoy easily all of a sudden, its ok I'm cool... My mind is not with me and I can't think straight, I wanna shout and scream letting out my anger and sorrow... I want to be me again, removing that mask I always had all along, I'm feeling sick really... Sick of you, just everything... Forgiveness, where can I get that, how do I learn to do that... My mind, my eyes, my heart, nothing is visible now except the anger within me... Where can I ever find that one true place I really belong to or people just anything... I'm lost and out of words... Please guide me my angel...

I used to believe
Tales of love
Eyes are met
Feelings for each
Without lies, Without tears
Pretty ending which melt thousand

Tales of love
I fantasise
Blinds me from reality
Fragile as it seems
Deceived by tales
I still believe
You will reach me in time....

2008-10-27T23:23:00.008+08:00

Blindness

Catched a movie today it was called 'Blindness', quite a meaningful one I should said... Humans, yes humans, they can do lots of crazy stuff or anything to get what they want... Its just so unbelievable, how they will react or do when they are under nasty suitation, a suitation when life and death comes into the picture...

Under desperation, nothing will matters to them not even their loved ones nothing... What only matters is being able to survive and live on... They will do anything in exchange to survive, betrayal, killing just anything, you name it... Sometimes I just felt how pathnetic humans are, is this the life we all seeking for this is just so ridiculous... Don't be fooled by the things you see with your eyes, sometimes its just not the way you think they are, it may be an act... Use your heart to see the world and feel it, feel it deep within... Someday you may find the real world you ever seek...

Love, sure is blind... Oh I wonder how many times I've said that, but nvm I can say it over and over again without getting tired cause it is blind when it comes to these four letters word... As when one fall in love he or she can do anything for their loved ones (if they truely love each other of course)... In another suitation whereby one can fall in love with another aimlessly or blindly without getting it in return, this is why love is blind... Love is a word or a feeling where almost everyone is searching for in life or trying to escape in life... Everyone has a different interpretation to this word so there is no fixed meaning to this word, anyone can disagree with mine...

Lately I've being thinking why I didn't found that feeling I've always had long ago until recently... Is it a bit too late now, I really don't know, should I let it go or wait for miracle? You are so near to me yet I feel we are so emotionally apart, sometimes I just feel so small and unable to do anything on my own... God please guide me through and lead the way... God bless my dear ones... Nitez...

2008-10-18T01:54:00.006+08:00

The start of something new

The new sem is starting soon, I mean real soon just 2 more days before saying goodbye to my beloved holidays... I'm looking forward to the start of new sem as I'll be meeting new people and making new friends due to different electives... Goodbye to my class A7A2, you guys are simply the best and my beloved sixsome (we should meet up often just like becky had said)... I'm glad that I'll be in the same class for almost all the subjects with rin rin haha (I'm not lonely after all haha)... Im pleased with my time table as I've gotten all the electives which I've chosen so no complain about it...

Work was good and fun today as Brenda dropped by, this gal never failed to make my day filled with laughter haha... With her around time just filed pass so fast, before I knew it was already time for me to knock off from work haha... Thanks for the accompany, although you're not deliberately came by because of me haha, still thanks for your jokes and 'lovely' songs haha... We should meet up soon yup... For those who are reading this, God bless and nitez... Stef signning off....

2008-09-12T22:13:00.003+08:00

Happy and tired...

I'm back from my class chalet, had lots of fun with friends and it is a crazy party hahahaha... It was filled with lots of laughter and joy, it's been ages since the last time I had that much fun... I must admit that i was damn high yesterday hahaha... Stayed over the night at the chalet, played games and got into some crazy punishment which is really funny and fun... Really can't stop laughing hahahaha cause some punishment is a bit 'A' hahahaha... During the chalet, one of my friends helped me to 'calculate ' my love life hmm it seem like both of us are never meant to be... Haiz after all it is just a secondary school crush, I will just leave it to God to decide...

Only had a few hours of sleep last night which helped me to develop two 'pretty' pandan eyes... Reached home around 10.30am the next day and slept till 6pm hahaha, met up with Becky for dinner at AMK and shopped around the mall...

There's only one more thing I'm gotta say about my class which is A7A2 ROCKS!!! I love you guys and God bless...=)

2008-09-07T01:27:00.007+08:00

Days goes by

Finally my exams are over, now is the time to relax and have fun... However at the same time I'm really afraid to get back my result, just don't know why I'm so afraid about it, pray and hope that it does turns out well... Looking forward to my class chalet which happening really soon, will be filled with laughter and joy I think yup...

I'm very sorry guys for not be able to turn up for the meeting on this coming tues as I've to work, its a last minute notice and I'm really sorry about it... Don't worry I will finish it and pass to you guys for binding...

Hmm I think that's about it as there's really not much stuff to update about, will write more again next time...

I'm in this world of dream
Spreading my wings and fly up high
Taking me to place where angel sings
Oh what a world

I'm in this world of wonder
Smiling and greeting the morning sun
Drinking and enjoying the one fine wine
Oh what a world

I'm in this world of reality
Stormy weather and thunder storm
Survive the test or surrender your soul
Oh what a WORLD.....

2008-08-14T00:04:00.005+08:00

Feelings show

Sometimes I just felt that I am a fool for some reasons as I feels like I am being used... It is an awkful feeling and I hate it, I always wanted to beautify everythings in my life even though it is impossible at times... I do feel that I am naive for thinking this way as no one is perfect in this world, everyone has a dark side (or ugly side) even your best friend, love ones or even the one you trusted the most... The side they never wanted to reveal only under some circumstances and it is really hurts to know that they can actually betray you or throwing temper at you for no reasons... Although I do understand their reasons for doing this yet I still feels hurt, as it is inevitable to feel that way...

You put your trust in them, expecting them to know you well inside out but sometimes it just turned out to be what you don't expected... Life is unpredictable and I totally agree with this, as people are just like climate they can be warm at this moment and become cold all of a sudden, you can't really predict what will happen next... Maybe lighting or thunder, who knows... I know you always asks me to cheer up again but it just feel so hard to do that, I will try to don't worry...

I really feels that my concern for others and kindness are being taken for granted at times, maybe I have gave too much which make them think that it is nothing or worth nothing at all... I also tend to give in too much as I wanted to prevent any unwanted conflicts and because of this my kindness is being taken for granted... Maybe I should learn to be more firm and stop giving in too much,this should makes my life better... God bless and night...

2008-08-05T00:43:00.002+08:00

Mesmerized

It's been quite some time since the last time I've blogged, been busy with school work and stuff.... I desperately needing a break, oh god give me the strenght to move on and walk on this rocky path I'm on.... Unexpected events happened around me quite often this few days, I felt mesmerized.... All right don't really wish to go into too much details, all I can say is everyone has their own set of mind in handling things what we can do is just respect it.... What I wanted to say is don't face all the things by yourself as it will be tough on you, I'm around to help if you need any.... If you find it is too tired to explain yourself every now and then, just forget about explaining anything if you think you have done nothing wrong as they should know you well by now.... But once in while you still need to do some explaining I know its contradicting, its just how life is.... No matter what decision you made I will respect it and give you my support, no question will be asked as I believe you know what you are doing.... God bless to all my friends.... Night...

The clock is ticking

My heart is beating

Moving through the time all along

Searching for that love i long for

The wind is blowing

My spirit is flowing

Setting myself free from everything

Looking for that peace I always wanted

The rain is falling

My mind is clearing

Washing away the pain I've been through

Giving me the strenght to move on

As time goes by

I'll be better in time

My fears behind me

This is my NOW.....

2008-07-19T23:53:00.001+08:00

I must THANK MY LOVELY LOVELY REBECCA STEPHANIE YEO
FOR GIVING ME A CBOX!!!!

MUACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:)

2008-07-14T00:51:00.004+08:00

Being someone or another....

In life sometimes you have to be someone that you barely even know, someone who is not you a completely different person... Its inevitable at times as it is a way to protect yourself in this world... You have to learn everything in a hard way before you can really know the ways of survival, I know it may sound harsh but its the true... Put on a perfect mask and be the unknown is tough and exhausting but you just have to do it at times as this is the way of life... In this world you don't know who to trust this is why you have to protect yourself by being someone else... There's no need to put on that mask every now and then as you will only cause more exhaustion to yourself, you can put it down when you are in your comfort zone... Everyone has their own comfort zone, if you don't know where it is search for it and don't said you don't have any as it is just a lie... No matter what you do, you must not regret and you must be true to yourself and don't ever say you can't, you have to believe that you can as if there's a believe there's always a way...

Search your heart and find the one you truly are, you can be others anyone but you must not lose yourself.... All right I will end with a poem that I've composed again...

I'm walking
I'm running
Hiding my idenity from the crowd
Being the one I never knew

I'm confessing
I'm lying
Forcing to be the ideal one
Getting to places I barely know

I'm crying
I'm smiling
Pretending to be alright all along
Feeling pain & sorrow is what i get

I'm searching
I'm looking
Finding the bits & pieces of myself
Fixing the parts I truly am

I'm sinking
I'm drowning
Lost in this world of misery
Aimless & emptiness filled me up

I'm seeking
I'm praying
Save me from this endless sorrow
Fill my life with hope & light once again.....

2008-07-10T23:21:00.003+08:00

Words....

People can be just so unpredictble at times, amazes us with coldness, warmth, different emotion just anything, anything that you can name it... Misunderstanding, MISunderstanding and even more MISUNDERSTANDING is going through in my daily life, when will this ever come to an end... All of this misunderstanding can be easily solved if you will try to understand us or even talk to us instead of just walking away from us... Nothing will be solved if no one wants to speak their mind, I know some may think it is useless or even ridiculous as most of you will think it is such a stupid way, cause more MISUNDERSTANDING will be created if you speak your mind or so do they said... To me it is best to speak your mind when you sense problem is coming your way unless you can let it go or put it all down... If everyone just kept quiet when a problem arise or don't even bother to find a solution to it , it will just get us no where as nothing will be solved...

People just love to keep lot of things in their heart, I understand sometimes you just don't feel like sharing it and I respect that... But sometimes you just need to let it out in order to relief your mind and stress, if not you will just explode like a time bomb... All right I think I will just stop here as I've talk too much and I will just end with this...

Words is a way of communication
Words is a way of interaction
Showing us the interior of human beings
Knowing the every side of human beings

Words is a way of direction
Words is a way of guidance
Showing us the road to happiness
Bringing light to the darkness moment

Words is a way of exploring
Words is a way of discovering
Showing us the world of wonder
Can be either cruel or merciful

Words is a way of life
Words is a way of love
Showing us the comfort we ever need
Or bring us down unknowingly

Words can describe a thousand things
Words can bring us around the world
Use it wisely and carefully
Someday you'll find the ideal life you ever seek....

2008-07-07T21:04:00.003+08:00

Looking back....

Flipping through the pictures of you makes me think of you for no reason, its been 4 years I think... Yes 4 long years has passed since the last time I heard from you, the memories just rushing back to me out of no where... What makes it so significant? Yes cause you sent me a msg on my birthday 4 years back and that is the last time I ever heard from you... Remember how you used to irritate me when we were in secondary school, it was full of laughter and joy then... Your hair was always neat and tidy but I kept saying it was a total mess, ya all the memories are coming back to me... Are you well over there, how's life and when will you be coming back to Singapore... Really want to hear from you once again just like old times, just once I'll be glad...

Sometimes I just felt that I let love slip away from me time to time and unknowingly, I do feel regretful at times... If I got the courage to say yes, maybe we will be one now... Just don't know what held me back at that moment, I really don't know and I'm sorry to make such a decision which hurts so deep... How I wish you were here once again and I can bring back the old times we used to have... I know its impossible and its just a wishful dreams that I am having now, but I am all right and will not let this brings me down... I'll just let God to decide for me and show me the road to happiness that I long for... God bless....

2008-06-24T21:41:00.005+08:00

Getting Sick

Sometimes I really feel like asking whether you truly understand me and know what am I thinking... I'm really tired and sick of explaining myself as it just feel so stupid to explain to a person who don't truly understand the meaning within my words... Just stop it ok, don't even bother to ask anymore, I need time to reflect on myself and air to breathe... I am getting annoy easily nowadays, just don't know why I've become like this... Maybe is due to the stuff which have been happening around me, search me... My brain is cracking from all this thinking I've been going through, mind can't think straight and everything, all of this just makes me feel so down and lousy...

‘Home sweet home’, what is that supposed to mean… Everyone has a home in their heart somewhere but sometimes I just lost my way to home… Home sweet home just can’t seem to register in my mind as I’ve started to get tired of getting home everyday… Instead of getting home I feel more like escaping from there at times, no one really truly understands me there and I really feel so damn tired, exhausted of explaining myself every now and then… If you still don’t understand just forget it and don’t even bother to ask… I really need some peace and quiet right now, desperately needing it… I’m lost my dear angel; please show me the path to home once again…

The quietness
The darkness
Emptiness in my heart
Foolishness I felt

Indulge myself
Drown myself
Into this mystery night
Which cave me deep

Breathlessly
Helplessly
Trap in this endless night
Aimlessly I felt

Angel of light
Angel of hope
Please be my guidance
Brings me direction....

2008-06-15T01:53:00.000+08:00

My feelings

Feeling exhausted and sometimes stupid.... life, yes life... It amazes me everytime, showing me the nature in human kind, showing me how they will react and response when problem arise, showing me how pathetic human can be at times... People are changing every now and then, how am I going to learn to believe again... Almost everyone is putting on a perfect mask or an act that hide their true identity... I understand these are the measures we need to acquire in order to survive in this world of our's... All right don't really feel like going into details now, let's talk about something else... I've been thinking of him this few days, wondering how is he doing now and stuff... All thanks to my dear friends who trigger my mind and starts to think of him... I just admire him not really falling in love with him so don't get me wrong...

This few days some of my friends are having trouble with love, yes love... Love is an amazing thing and sometimes a disaster you wish you could escape from it... It really depends on how you interpret it and the experiences you gained from love... To me it can be either good or bad as nothing is perfect in this world... Love is selfish and blind, sometimes you will do things that you won't believe you would do... Do not be afraid or guilty of rejecting someone as long you are doing the right thing... Do not force yourself into a relationship when you are feeling uncomfortable and unsure... You will only hurt yourself in the end and even the one who loved you... Everything takes time, do not try to rush everything as it will only make things worst... Think it through and think it deep, the answer is just within you, yourself, your heart, search for it and soon you will get the answer to your question....

All right I think I will end my post with a poem that I've composed long ago, here goes....

My starry night
My lonely night
Thinking of you deeply
Thinking of you fondly

Wishing you were here
Wishing you were there
Holding me
Healing me

Give me the strength
Give me the warmth
You always have
You always will

Tell me again
Tell me truely
Will you be there
Once again.....

2008-05-26T23:33:00.002+08:00

Wore out

It was a busy week lately, lots of work and projects need to be done however time is not a luxury for me... So much had happened lately and it is wearing me out and my mind just can't think straight... I think i'm getting emotional quite easily this few days, I wanna be normal again and get rid of this uneasy feeling i'm having... I'm draining, exhausting and feeling so damn tiring about things, people and maybe you... Stop asking me whether i'm ok or anything cause i'm really getting annoy by the questions you were asking me, sorry for feeling that way I know you are concern about me but just not now... Please stop, just stop, at least for now as i really need time to think it through and i need some air, i really need it desperately needing it... Anyway thanks to the guy who cheer me up when i'm down, I know i've not been contacting you and i'm sorry for that... I really appreciate the words you've said to me, thanks......

2008-04-29T10:16:00.004+08:00

Why am I feeling this way....

I"m been thinking lots of stuff lately, really too much of stuff which causing me to feel extremely tired... Being moody sometimes and causing the people around me to question me what has happened. Seriously I don't even know the reasons behind it, I think I'm just being random at times, maybe too random just like this post I am posting now, just so random of me to sit down and write something beside poems... What have become of me, getting overwhelm and tired of what life supprise us every single day... People are changing, feelings not right, cheated by the one you loved, quarrel with your loved ones, misunderstand by others...

Oh how exciting life can be as everyday there's a different scenario for us to unwrap and take a look at it, isn't it just like a gift... Its just a matter of time before my limit is reached, Don't know how will I react when that day arrive... Why bother to tell someone when that person don't even understand what you mean and don't even has a solution to your problem, its just a waste of time... I prefer to keep everything to myself and escape to my own world at times, just staring at anything aimlessly is kind of a way for me to relax or just keeping quiet... Don't even bother to ask me what happened cause I won't answer anything cause I'm lost in my whole new world, I need time of my own... I think I'll stop here for now as I think I've wrote too much, just too much.....

2008-03-21T16:34:00.002+08:00

Feeling weary

Should I feel this way, I really don't know what am I thinking and feeling right now... I'm getting very tired lately, tired of everything which has been happening around me. I'm a person who don't really like to share my problems with others as I don't feel like talking about it. Just give me some more time to figure it out, I promise I'll tell you someday, now its just not the time... This poem here can really describe how I feel right now, so here goes...

I wanna run
I wanna hide
Escape from the place
Once I called home

Feeling stressed out
Feeling wore out
No explanation needed
Slience is consent

Tears falling down
Heart Breaks apart
Mind can't think straight
As anger replace love

Will you ever?
Will you truly?
Understand the meaning of sorrow
Which distance us away....

2008-01-29T17:08:00.000+08:00

New Stuff

It's been so long since my last post, yup i've noticed that sorry to left it to grow spider webs for so long haha... Been busy yup, all rite here goes...

Windows fell
Glasses smashed
Out of words
No way out

Hope is useless
Sorrow is endless
Emptiness had me
No promises

Story ended
Heart shattered
Love is fairytale
No forever

Away from you
Away from tears
Close my heart
No more dreams....

2007-03-17T01:36:00.000+08:00

Hi finally back again to write more...

It's been ages since i posted anything or new poem in this blog, been through a lot gained some useful experiences in life... And there's finally time for me to sit down and write some stuff, all right here goes

I've been myself
I've been others
Many faces passed by
I didn't realise

Tired of hiding
Tired of lying
Being someone I never knew
Pathetic, Yes I am

Clouds take over
Rain falls down
Teasing me for being a fool
Ambivalent I felt

Seeking guidance from above
Finding the road to wisdom
Till the very end, I realise
Was to have faith...

2006-09-30T00:20:00.000+08:00

Another one to go...

Your face in my eyes
Mine in your's appear
Showing me the love I never knew
Making me feels I'm the only one
Embracing me with warmth & care
Change my life with words you said

Where can we find
One remote forest
Without sharp thorns
Without harmful beasts
With only calm ocean
Which wash away pain
If our two loves be one
That none can take away
None can die...

2006-09-30T00:09:00.000+08:00

New Post....

Its been so long since the last time i wrote...So here i am again sharing some new stuff i have wrote for the past few months, hope you like it...

Living a life without love
Living a dream without hope
Since the day I let you go
I've buried my heart along
Seeing you in arms of others
Breaks me deep
The ring on your hand
Is the ring of thorn in me
Our love is a mistake
Wish I could undone all
You once told me
Duty and honour
Is the shell of life
Being loved or in love
Is the life as a whole
Never realise the meaning within
The willow which interwined
Makes me understand
Our love never die...

2006-07-08T22:40:00.000+08:00

Back with some new stuff...

Its been a long time since the last time I updated my blog been busy yup..So here I'm back again haha recently I've watched a nice and touching show its called ''Ghost Whisperer'' I think I spell it correctly ok whatever.. Its talking about a girl who has the ability to communicate with ghost but only those who haven't cross over (into the light)... They will come up to her when they have problems and she will need to find ways to help them so they can put everything behind and cross over... Not everyone will believe her as most of them find it hard to believe so sometimes she might get misunderstand for being up to no good... There are also some touching moments yup it is a must watch haha....Alright right now I'm going to introduce who is reading this a new thingy I've wrote I found it ok yup it has no title btw...

You entered my life
When I'm in depth of despair
You pull me through
When I'm struggling for air

Light up my life with your smile
Gave me support when I'm down
Warm me up with your touch
Making me felt like I was the only one

Your words were strength
Pulling me through the darkness
Your eyes were magic
Seeing me through when no one did

Craddle me & Protect me in your arms
Carrying me through the darkest moment
Gave up everything in trade for my smile
Words are not enough to express my gratitude

Every story has an ending
Unwilling to put an end to it
But its out of my control
I have to accept the truth

Knowing the meaning of reality
breaks me deep
Knowing the meaning of forgive
hurts me so

What hurts the most
Not knowing you left because of me
What breaks me most
Not knowing how much you meant to me

Wish I can start all over
Hope I can be in time
To tell you how I feel
From the bottom of my heart

''I carry you in my heart
I love you & want you in my life
Sorry that I chose to lie...''

2006-05-05T14:40:00.000+08:00

New poem..erm more like a story..

Have been writing a lot lately yup...its a new poem but it more like a story to me, the title is ''Derailed'' got the idea after watching a movie yup..Its a nice show must watch haha..In this poem I think I decrided what is the movie about and bah blah blah but there are some parts I didn't wrote because it will be damn long. I just briefly wrote what had happened and how it end, actually this girl (Lucinda) I'm decriding is with a guy who gang up with her to cheat this poor guy money whose name is Charles..This whole going to hotel thingy is a set up Lucinda is just a beauty that is too good to be true, by the way I didn't write that part they went to hotel haha..When Charles found out Lucinda had cheated him he got very angry as she had cheated him $120,000 that money is for his daughter medical fees. Moreover he think Lucinda is one of the victim too but actually she's not, he wanted his money back so he went back to the same hotel to find her and her boyfriend..It quite amazing that the hotel actually have some connections with these two robbers, after the whole commotion between them all the bad guys were shot dead by Charles even Lucinda(he shot her by accident)..He is lucky that he escape from the police such a lukcy guy..All rite the poem goes like this...

It's half past eight
It's gonna be late
Stuck at the station
Waiting for next

Got up the train
Start to think
Where is my ticket
Oh that's great

Cash were dried up
Captain was there
Ask for pay up
You were scared

One kind soul
Start to say
''I will help''
Don't be scared

You were shocked
You were thankful
No words out
Mind was blank

Wonder who she is
Wonder why she helped
She is a beauty
So what's now

Moved next to her
Asked her why
And there she replied
''Just lend a helping hand''

Wanna meet her again
Wanna pay her back
There she said ''yes''
You were overwhelmed

The day they met
They started to lie
Lie to their hearts
Lie to their loved ones

How naive he was
Thinking she loves him
Not knowing it's a set up
And he just another prey

She cheated his heart
She cheated his money
Feeling bad inside
As he believe her

Knowing about his daughter
Knowing about his conditions
She felt guilty
She wants a change

It's all too late
When he found out
Anger blinds him
Revenge got him

She died with guilt
She died with regret
Knowing she still love him
But reality is cruel
She knows it....

2006-05-02T23:33:00.000+08:00

Back...Busy...

Its been sometime since I written things in this blog of mine, all right just a boring introduction yup. Mid year exams are around the corner feeling intense and sometime lost, stuck in the middle of some stuff and don't know what to do. Nothing particular happen these few weeks or days, actually I don't really care much about stuff that happened around me unless it is important, concern me or special things that really can catch my attention(whatever). Just being busy with my work in school and in my composing(poems), love to write poems when I'm free or anything that struck my mind. Maybe this is one of the way which can help me de-stress, write about life, love, reality and blah blah blah... Ok now I'm going to share one my latest poem with anyone who is reading this post its called ''Deep down my heart...'' Wrote this when I'm listening to some sad love songs yup..gotten some ideas so I chose to write it down, here it goes

Deep down my heart
You were the only one
Deep down my mind
I just can't let go
With all the past caving me in
Moving on just seem an impossible way

Hiding my true self
Telling myself I can
Hiding my longing destiny
Asking where I am
Living a lie & being a fool
Endless sorrow is what I gain

Looking help all along
No one is there to hear
Looking back all along
Finding the memories you've left
No extra words is being said
What left is only bits & pieces

What gone is gone
Wanting more will only hurt
What past is past
Let it fly and flow away
Returning to where it truely belong
Bring back my direction in life
I shall be bless, my dear angel...

2006-04-07T11:13:00.000+08:00

To: Superintendent Dharmitra Singh
From: Ms Shashi

Stampede that took place at Lucknow

The whole incident started on the Thursday 6th of March 2006, 3pm in the noon. I accompany my grandmother to Lucknow to collect free saris which Mr Lalji Tandon, a member of Indian Prime Minister Atal Behari Vajpayee's BJP party, was distributing to celebrating his birthday. The place was very crowded as about 5000 people gathered in a small area, which was fenced in and turn into a temporary tent. Everyone seems very excited and desperate to get the free saris when they started to distribute it to the public.

At first everyone was lining up orderly to receive the saris everything just seem normal, suddenly someone at the front row start shouting there were no more saris anymore. When everyone heard that news, they started to rush and squeeze through the way hoping they can get at least one saris. The whole situation was getting very messy and out of control, although the staff who was giving away those saris was trying to tell them there were still enough saris, no one seem to listen to him. When I tried to find a route for my grandmother to get out it just seem impossible, as the bamboo poles which were supporting the tent was starting to collapse and there were people rushing from different direction. I could hear nothing but screaming from everywhere, Chairs and tables were scattered all around.

There was one thing that made me felt shocked and heartbroken was that one old lady was being stamped to death when she fell down. She was not the only one that was being stamped to death, there were still a few more as most of them only care about their lives so they would not care about others they just step on them. My and grandmother and I were lucky enough to escape alive. My comments were if there is another occasion similar to this I really hope they can have it in a building which is stable. They also can have police officers to maintain the safety and help in the distribution make sure everyone is in order.

Signature
04/06/2006
(stefanie Hoong, 5A1, (4)

2006-04-07T08:49:00.000+08:00

Reflection and stuff...

Going through lots of thinking and reflection these few days, wondering what i'll be in future what jobs i want to work in and stuff..Parents were encouraging me or you can said telling me to take up courses which is ''useful'' and will benefit myself. Really, I am lost sometimes on the road and wishing someone will guide me through this merciless world. Stress has slowly grow within me and I don't know why as I never been like this for the past few years. Maybe this year is the most important one as it can determine my ''life and death'' and where I suppose to go. There is times I wished I can just run away from toubles and do not want to face the reaclity just don't know why a lot of contridiction have happened here and there. Feeling tired about things that had happened in my life like those that had happened at home, misunderstanding, make a fuss out of something that is ridiculous, being unreasonable and stuff. Can't really find anyone to talk maybe is because of myself, as I don't really like to shared some very personal stuff to others even my closed ones. I prefer to keep it in my heart as there are some stuff that I'll feel uncomforable to say it out(Oh Whatever), Don't feel like revealing too much of myself.... I just felt there's some kind of force keep draining me off (just my imagination). If I have the power to change my life and fate I'll want better one, one that without troubles I know its impossible just dreaming and talking rubbish.

I feel like I'm walking on a rocky path that really need lots of thinking and making decision on how to make it into a better one. Trying hard to write my own story in life and not written by others as this is my life I want to have full control of it. There are so much more to learn in life its a never ending journey or you can said study. As time pass I hope I can be more mature in handling some things like emotion and stuff...God Bless and nitez...

2006-02-10T22:59:00.000+08:00

Tired...just don't know why...

Its been quite some time since I've write a new post..Was busy with coursework and some personal stuff..Life is really full of contridiction, actually its quite true as I've moments when I was stuck between whether to go for it or not(just some personal stuff)..Getting tired of people who always fooling others around making them to believe what they're really not..Tired of those who always don't speak their mind or just can't decide what they really want..I know its hard to be very sure about what you want in life and which you want to choose but you can try to think up of sometihing, something that you wanted most in life.. I think its quite hard to move on if you're too indecisive in life..Maybe different people have different expects in life and its quite hard to guess or predict what will happen next..Good or bad stuff can happen who knows, its unpredictable..Some will try to tell you to look on the bright side but how many people will do that if they've encounter somethings that is hard to solve..As some will said its easy to use your mouth to say but its hard to do it(or take action)...Recently hmm I think was a few weeks ago I wrote a poem(I think it is a poem don't know about you)..Here it goes''From friends to lovers, From lovers to strangers, Our hearts is falling apart, My heart is tearing me apart, Every word you've said is a lie, Every touch you've make is burning, I've let you enter my life, I've let you exit my life, I must admit that we're through, But meeting you is such a beautiful disaster...''

Don't know why I've wrote this just can't find a reason to explain it maybe I wrote this because of a song I've heard or somethings that I've read, Seacrh me..Don't ask me why cause I can't give you a extact answer...I think I'll end here will update it soon..God Bless..

2006-01-01T23:32:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year...Having lots of fun...

Its the new year yeah haha went for countdown and stuff on 31st of Dec, lots of drink but I didn't drank haha have some limit on that thingy=p...Had a hell of a party haha dance and drink at my cousin place it was crazy left his place at abt hmm cant really remember haha forget it...Before that I went to cine and have some pool games with my friends this time i did not get a arm ache haha, wasn't good in the first few match but still able to win a few matches after all I'm still not bad haha=p. After that we went to catch a movie The Family Stone it was a nice, funny and touching movie love it so much. It has a warm but a little sad ending as the mother of the family had passed away because she's sick and its incurable. All of them have found the love ones or I should said their future wives. After the show my stomach was getting noisy meaning its hungry and need FOOD!!! Went to long john and have our dinner but I didn't ate much cause later need to go to my cousin house said that earlier..Said goodbye to my friends and off to my party. Hoping next year will be a better one didn't have any wish but do hope that my results for exams will be good haha....Last but not least wish everyone a Happy New Year =)....

2005-12-21T00:20:00.000+08:00

Fantastic week and feeling happy...

Gotten my result yesterday and I quite happy about it most importantly I'm being promoted yeah haha..My sis rewarded me an eeyore my faourite cartoon character from winne the pooh it so cute love it=)..Just went to sentosa today with my friends, went to the beach and play some ball games and water haha..took some photos on the nearby island just opposite parawak beach...The funny thing was that one of my friend Cam somehow being mistaken to be a photographer cause seem like every tourists were asking her to help them to take a photo haha=p..Had so much fun there with those guys chat about everything and shared some life experiences and magic tricks but I found out how to do the trick so in the end he can't fool me hehe=p...About 4 something we went to cine to play pool, never know my skills has improve haha won a few matches against YY..After 2 hours my arm starting to ache oh my god its hurt and our stomach started to make some noise cause we're hungry..So we end the game and went for dinner, during that moment we also shared some personal stuff(don't feel like reviewing the content=p)...bad and good encounter in life, life is like a roller coaster sometimes bad and sometimes good we can't expecting everythings are perfect, its impossible but we can make it a good one if we try and don't give up easily..Feeling sleepy right now I think I better turn in cause still have something on tomorrow tired but happy..nitez=)

2005-12-18T23:37:00.000+08:00

Nervous and excited....

Feeling quite nervous this morning and also right now when I'm writing this post cause tomorrow is the day I'm getting back my results!!! Oh my god don't really know how to decride my feelings right now its like a mixtures of emotions... Worried about my results really want to know how I fared haha my mind not thinking really straight right now haha=p Wish I can get my results right now this moment instead of tomorrow so that I won't be thinking too much such a torture man haha...Trying to relax and pray, hope I can get good results. All right I think I'll stop and turn in yup, I guess this is the shortest post I ever wrote haha...Write again next time God Bless...=)

2005-12-15T11:26:00.000+08:00

Nice movie...Romantic..Love it..

Yesterday night I watched ''The Wedding Date'' the second time its very nice, funny and romantic. I just can't forget what the main actor Nick said to Kat ''I rather fight with you than making love with anyone else..'' It just so touched when I heard that, as my sis and I agree that we barely can hear a guy say that to a girl haha=p. Some of you might think this sentence is not a good one to ask the girl back as its may sound not appropriate to others. Some may think ''oh so you want to fight with me the rest of my life'' actually its not what Nick meant as both of them had a fight and misunderstanding towards each other so this is why he said that. To me I think he was saying this from his heart and he still love her so. There're also another sentence hmm... I think its more sound like a quote this is how it goes ''Every women have the extact love life they wanted''. Its quite true, not only the women, I think everyone is the same they all have the extact idea of what kind of love life they wanted most. I know sometimes is hard to predict what will happen the next moment but as long as we believe and don't have expectation that is too high haha, moderate will be ok(maybe some of you don't agree with it=p). We will find our prince charming one day haha=p...

2005-12-11T12:38:00.000+08:00

Thinking...Hoping...

Just don't know why I don't wanted to get out from my bed this morning maybe I'm too tired. Thinking of what to do this morning but I just can't think of anything(forget it). Recently, I just chat with a guy in the chatroom. He asked me what kind of guys do I like? My answer was a decent guy, mature, don't smoke, support me and be there for me when I most needed him, the looks I don't really care most importantly is the feelings between us yup(That is what I think). He was surprised as he said that nowadays girls don't like this type of guys they prefer hot guys. So he said my thinking was some kind of old, yah maybe its true (whatever =p). But I just feel like I wanted someone who is there for me, love and care for me and not there for show(like oh this is my BF handsome right, something like that). I don't care how the others look at him as long as to me he's the right guy I wanted, that enough and he must be finacially stable. Nowadays people tend to start their relationship in an early age I didn't say its wrong to do that but to me I prefer to have a relationship when I'm older. As I believe in fate(when it'll comes, it'll comes), I won't want to rush it don't feel like it. I hope to gain more experiences in life before talking about my love life(maybe I'm old fachion haha or some of you might think that I'm afraid of being hurt, who knows, search me). Never know I've write that much haha(to me la) guess I'll stop here, will write again next time. God Bless...

2005-12-09T01:14:00.000+08:00

What a day...

Today I have lots of fun and also have the chance to get out of my house and breathe in some fresh air haha...Have been busy with somethings lately yup (some of my friend might knew why...don't really want to talk about it sad moments yup.) I went to causeway point today and meet up with Van yup, had a great time with her haha shop around the mall, play some games(its fun) and have our dinner at pastamania their pasta is nice yummy haha. We had our dinner quite early about 5 plus to me I think its early cause I don't really have my dinner at 5 plus. After that we went to bishan cause there's nothing much to do there, went to life bookshop to look around. We bought a key ring with our name on it, on the key ring it said what our name mean and its nice yup. After that we went to Dome and have a drink, both of us ordered a ice moca with gelato its nice as it topped with ice cream, most importantly it is not too sweet. We enjoyed our coffee and talked about experiences in life and funny stuff. After that we went home and end our enjoyable day haha =)...